Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
