if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
