I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
