Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
