Christians are straight up FREAKS
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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