...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
why is half of my head shaved?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
