I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
