Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
