after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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