Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
