she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
