Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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