I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
