Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
