This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
