coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He uses pillows to masturbate.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
