Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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