I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
