This is not my ceiling
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
