I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
