I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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