I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
