You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
