I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
