I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Come on in and take your pants off
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