What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
