DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
