.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
