i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
