Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
this is an emotional support booty call
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
