i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
