singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
As shirtless as possible
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
