Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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