i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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