no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
