dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
