its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
