So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
