Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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