So drunk its hurt
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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