Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
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The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
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That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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