I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
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The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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