If i come over, it means nothing
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
