Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize