soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
