Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
