Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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