i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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