Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
