I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
