Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize