so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
