Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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