Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
