these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
