a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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