I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
