i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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