I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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