oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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