Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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