i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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