My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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