I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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