Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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