we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
