life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
