this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
