New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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