this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Please, let me fuck your mom
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize