I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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