he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
