I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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