I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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